FRIENDSHIP: I JUST WANT TO BE FAIR...

Dedicated to people around me,


I apologize if I had indirectly hurting your feeling before, by my silences, my strictness, my sarcasm, my ego and my ignorance.


Actually, I just want to be fair to myself. So that I am not being too sensitive, which later may bring me down into depression. In friendship, it is normal to have such feeling as long as not too much. Everyone has feeling right. So my principal is, before you said "I hurt your feeling", reflect back to yourself. Have you hurt my feeling?. So the conclusion is forgive me and stop being sensitive. Unless i bullied and abused you.

Sometime I afraid that I will hurt other feeling. Everytime I accidentally hurt my friend feeling (like being not responding to them, being more hard, being more ego) actually myself is hurt also. I don't like to be like this,

As I said before I just want to be fair to myself. It is not a revenge. This is only my defense mechanism. I love myself very much and actually I don't like people hurt me unnecessarily without any common sense. If you want me to care of you, to respond to your story, to not being ego to you. So, do you. It is not work if only me the one who try to care of others. Instead of doing that, it is better for me to just care about myself. So it is fair. 1:1. 

I am not blaming you. And I am not really angry with you. I only disappointed. I just want you to understand why I am doing this and that. I hope you understand and stop blaming behind me. The most important thing is reflecting yourself and accept me as I accept you.

Me also a human. So I want to be cared and loved. If you cannot give me that, so dont expect anything from me. Maybe we deserve such an ordinary friendship. So that, I can reserve my love only for myself and my family who love me unconditionally. 

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